Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Our mother criticized our parenting skills. Our friend gossiped about us. Our partner had an affair. When someone we care about hurts us, we can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge. These wounds can leave us with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness and even vengeance.
The people most likely to hurt us are those closest to us — our partners, friends, siblings and parents. When we're hurt by someone we love and trust — whether it's a lie, betrayal, rejection, abuse or insult — it can be extremely difficult to overcome. And even minor offenses can turn into huge conflicts.
When you experience hurt or harm from someone's actions or words, whether this is intended or not, you may begin experiencing negative feelings such as anger, confusion or sadness, especially when it's someone close to you. These feelings may start out small. But if you don't deal with them quickly, they can grow bigger and more powerful. They may even begin to crowd out positive feelings. Grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility take root when you dwell on hurtful events or situations, replaying them in your mind many times.
We Were told that forgiveness is the act of untying yourself from thoughts and feelings that bind you to the offense committed against you. This can reduce the power these feelings have over you, so that you can a live freer and happier life in the present. Remember, when you don't practice forgiveness, you may be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy.
Some might say that to forgive is a sign of weakness and humiliation, and for them it is better to be strong and preserve their honour. But allah said that the honour in the eyes of Allah lies in forgiveness.
"But indeed if any shows patience and forgives that would truly be an exercise of courageous will and resolution in the conduct of affairs." [surah 42:43]
If we are to be really strong then we have to be strong against Shaytaan and forgive our brothers and sisters, and in this way maybe Allah will decide to forgive ourselves for our many mistakes that we are not free from committing.
'Forgive him who wrongs you; join him who cuts you off; do good to him who does evil to you, and speak the truth although it be against yourself.'
The Prophet(SAW) said :
"Be merciful to others, so that the One Above will be merciful to you." Sahih Bukhari
"Verily, Allah is gentle and is fond of gentleness, and He gives to the gentle what He does not give to the cruel." (Muslim)
And to those who have wronged their brothers and sisters unjustly, repent hasty for Allah do not forgive someone who has wronged others. Don’t let your arrogance and pride hinders you to humble yourself in repentance for verily, Allah is so severe in punishment.